第336章人家的闺女有花戴
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事后,吕明让丈夫买一双高跟鞋穿上。玉虎大伤自尊:“你什么意思?是不是现在嫌弃我了?”“我没有嫌弃你,我只是想要尽量减少我们之间的差距。谁让你不长高一点呢?”
“这能怪我吗?我也想长高一点,可也不是你想怎么长就怎么长的。如果谁想长什么样就长什么样,那还要这美容院干什么?”
婚后,吕明过生日,她见丈夫一直没有表示,于是:“今天是我的生日,你也不打算送一份礼物给我?”
玉虎一时无言以对,正巧发现桌上一根红色毛线,灵机一动计上心来,开口学唱了一段白毛女中几句唱词:“人家的闺女有花戴,你爹我钱少不能卖,扯上二尺红头绳,给俺明儿扎起来。”吕明闻言火往上撞,举起拳头照着丈夫的软肋噗地就是一记粉拳。
玉虎痛呼连声:“俺那个娘啊!你还真打啊?”
“咱们俩谁跟谁呀?我跟你还用得着客气吗?”
“你也真下的了手,你就不怕把我的‘孩子’打掉了呀?这要是怀孕的话,非被你这一拳打‘流产’不可!”
“不怕,若是真能把你打‘流产’的话,倒还省事了,省的避孕失败再去打胎。”
“你这人可真没趣,一点艺术细胞也没有,刚才我唱到:扯上二尺红头绳,给俺明儿扎起来,你就该接着往下唱:人家的闺女有花戴,我爹钱少不能买……。”
吕明抬腿照他屁股上踹了一脚:“我看你tm找揍!”
玉虎万分委屈:“凭什么呀?无缘无故为什么要打我?”
“你小子居心不良,故意占我便宜。”
“小的冤枉啊!白毛女里面确实是这么唱的嘛,我只不过是依葫芦画瓢,现学现卖罢了,怕我占便宜,这戏还怎么唱?”
“谁稀罕听你瞎叫唤?滚一边去!”
吕明陪丈夫散步,走到一所小学门口,这时正是学生入学时间。就见一个十多岁的孩子,由母亲送来学校。也许是在家娇惯的缘故,竟然抓着妈妈的衣服舍不得和母亲分开。这时老师过来替妈妈解围:“淘淘已经是大孩子了,长的这么高了还让妈妈送,这让人多不好意思啊?妈妈还要去上班、还要去工作,不要再缠着妈妈了好不好?”
小孩子正在进行激烈的思想斗争,妈妈无奈道:“这孩子特黏人,每次送他上学都让人头疼,打也不行,骂也不行,怎么说也不松手,我可是真拿他没有办法。”
老师接着再劝孩子:“你看别的同学都是自己一个人来学校,都没有让妈妈送,淘淘长大后一定要做一个勇敢的人,所以,一定要学会独立、学的坚强一些。”
小男孩这才恋恋不舍地放开小手。
吕明看到这幅情景,不由得多看两眼。不远处,玉虎不耐烦地催促道:“走啊!看什么呢?没见过妈妈送儿子上学呀?”
吕明触景生情、激发灵感于是问丈夫:“你看到妈妈送儿子上学,联想到什么没有?”
玉虎不知妻子的葫芦里卖的是什么药,疑惑地问:“妈妈送儿子上学习以为常、司空见惯,这还有什么可联想的?有那功夫我还不如养会神呢。”
“刚才那件事,反倒使我浮想翩翩、触发灵感,细细玩味真是觉得好笑。”
“你联想到什么?是不是你小时候也经常要妈妈送去上学?”
“这倒不是,我联想到的是你我之间的一些趣事。”
玉虎更加疑惑:“我们之间的趣事?你的想象力真丰富,妈妈送儿子上学,和我们之间能有什么联系?你越说越让我糊涂了。”
“这就是作家和普通人的区别,对于一件事,如果你用单纯的眼光去看它,并没有什么特别,而倘若加入丰富的想象,就会尺水兴波、无风起浪。所谓:举一反三、触类旁通,大概就是这个道理。虽然我不是作家,但我偶尔也会触发一些灵感,产生无尽的想象。”
玉虎的好奇心又被勾上来了,于是急切的追问:“你且说说究竟联想到什么有趣的故事?也好让我这个不开窍的学生长长见识。”
吕明虽然时常想要拿男友开涮,但又不想事后被对方责问,因此,再次使出欲擒故纵的招数,事先先把自己洗脱干净:“我还是不说了,说出来又怕引起你的误会。”
吕明的话引起了玉虎的警惕:因为已经有过两次教训,他也预料到吕明的故事一定含有戏辱自己的成分。再看吕明,一脸的坏笑,尤其是她那双眼睛,此时流露出一丝坏坏的感觉。一个人想要发坏的时候,内心总有一种说不出的优越感,一种众人皆醉我独醒的感觉,把对方蒙在鼓里,直到故事讲完,听讲者才恍然大悟的那种心跳、快感,非是语音所能形容。
不料,玉虎这一次比上一次淡定了许多:“你不讲那就算了,我知道你又打算转着圈地戏弄与我。”
玉虎此举出乎吕明预料,不过,吕明并不急于表现:“你早这么有主见,又怎么
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