第六百三十三章 唐僧提前怀孕
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贞观十三年望前三日,唐三藏出长安,一路上都晓行夜宿,有唐王旨意在,在大唐国内是畅行无阻,有御第身份,一州刺史都要出成迎接,和尚做到这一步,实在倍有面子。
好在唐僧是个真和尚,不花天酒地,遇到寺庙,则在寺庙食宿,吃斋念佛,没寺庙,则在驿馆食住,以青菜豆腐为食。不过这可让两位随从有些不爽,以往他们髓钦差外干,可有不少好处拿,如今不说银钱、小妞,还要吃素,这是要当和尚啊!
“这凡马的速度真慢,要是没小白龙,这唐僧屁股颠炸,到死也去不到雷火山。”陈闲眉头一皱,暗道干脆再去去把小白龙,煮他个生活不能自理,看他到时候还能不能跑那么快。
但想了想,陈闲放弃了这个想法,敖晚晴如今在自己手下任职,工作还算勤奋,自己去把他弟弟煮了可不好,以前煮了次还闹了那么大矛盾,再煮,怕是对方要宁死不屈了。
“这慢吞吞的,干脆让他再慢点好了,能脱一天是一天。”陈闲微微一笑,当空洒了一些东西在马槽里,然后带着武则天飘然远去。
第二日一早,唐僧打马西行,小马闹起了情绪,快慢不定,把唐僧跌了两次,若非暗中有护法暗中护持,差点没把妖摔折了。
摔了这么两下,唐僧是不敢骑了,牵着马步行,奈何他不是苦行僧,西游里说他白白胖胖,明显是个养尊处优的住,一天下来就走了二十里地,还磨得满脚血泡。
“苦啊!”夜深人静之时,唐僧往着满是血泡的双脚,悲悲戚戚。
好在第二天,小马哥情绪好了,再次变得温顺,唐僧才得以再次骑马上路,不使一双半残之脚受累。
话说大唐虽是天朝上国,国富民强,但自南北朝至隋末大乱,战争不断,人口锐减,李世民虽然励精图治,但也不能一下弄出大量人口来。而已人口分布,向来是东多西少,出了长安城十数日后,西去路上,常常百十里遇不着过村落,唐僧一连几日都是风餐露宿,干粮冷水度日,日子过得甚是清苦。
这日唐僧正饿得前胸贴后背,在马上突然瞥见一茶馆,心中一喜,带着两随从,快速杀奔过去。
来到近前一看,这是一个破矛屋,只在屋前搭了个雨棚,插了个茶旗的小茶馆,不过现在也不是讲究的时候,立即喊道:“茶博士(卖茶的)!”
连喊两声,茅草屋内走出缠头巾,系围裙的村妇,菜色脸,病殃殃的,好似营养不良。
“大师有礼了,快请坐!”那村妇见到唐僧,立即虔诚行了个佛礼,请唐僧落坐。
唐僧见妇人行佛礼,大喜,以为遇到了个虔诚的佛门善士,双手合十道:“阿弥陀佛!女菩萨,小僧饥渴难耐,望能讨口水喝。”
“噗!”听到唐僧的话,隐身半边的陈闲差点喷血,饥渴难耐,讨、口水喝,真是容易让人想歪。
原来这破草庐乃是陈闲点化,而那村妇,不消说,当是武则天无疑,却是不知陈闲欲行何事。
武则天道:“大师先喝茶,我去弄两个胡饼给大师及二位壮士充饥!”
“咦,这武则天竟然使得这二个随从是风萧萧兮易水寒,一去兮不复还的壮士,不愧是大能转世,果有灵慧!”陈闲又是一赞。
武则天说着,取了三个掉瓷的茶瓦(为了逼真,不然用崭新的,太假),取个炉旁的茶壶,一人倒了一碗热茶,之后又去炉旁,做了六个热气腾腾的胡饼,又取了些萝卜干送来。
“寒舍简陋,无好斋饭可招待大师,怠慢了!”武则天甚是愧疚地道。
“女施主菩萨心肠,必有好报!”唐僧道了声谢后,就着茶汤咸萝卜,将两个胡饼消灭掉。
“大师打哪来?欲去何方?”武则天明知故问道。
“我自长安来,奉圣旨往西天打雷音寺拜佛求经!”唐僧是实诚人,不会学云中子对纣王一般,拽个自云水来,也不会打禅机道自来处来,往去处去。
“大师莫非是御第唐三藏?”武则天又明知故问道。
“正是小僧,不知道女菩萨怎知道小僧?”唐僧问道。
“如今大唐谁不知不畏妖魔,立誓去西天取经的唐三藏?再说巩州刺史日夜在城门候大师法驾,我等巩州小民岂有不知之理?”武则天笑道。
“此处离巩州成还有多远?”唐僧问道。
“往西走,大概二十里地吧!”武则天道。
“不好让刺史久等,小僧告辞了!”问清了路程,唐僧立即启程,想快些赶制州城,洗去铅华,顺便好好吃顿斋饭。
“大师慢走!”武则天送三人出草庐,目送其远去。
武则天返回茅草屋后,陈闲察觉那些护法天神都去了,便挥了挥手,茶馆立即化为一股元气消散,武则天也恢复了本来面目。
“主人这茶壶真是精巧,不知道给唐僧喝得茶汤又何特别之处?”武则天手中把玩着先前那个茶壶道。
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