0447 恶魔郡主
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指着小郡主怒道:“你不就是想找刺激嘛,有本事咱们互相出题考问,我答不上来你拔我十根毛,你答不上来我拔你一根就行,敢不敢?”
“大胆!殿下面前岂容尔等放肆……”
一位小太监拿腔拿调的指着他,赵官仁瞪眼道:“你蝙蝠身上插鸡毛——你
算什么鸟啊!你家小主都没发话,你个卖屁股的阴阳人倒蹦出来了,不是你身上没几根毛,老子一定把你拔成秃驴!”
“大胆!来人,快来人啊……”
小太监气的连连跺脚,大批侍卫立即凶狠的冲进了院中,宋吃猪吓的连忙抱头蹲下,大叫道:“不关我事啊!”
“哈哈哈……”
小郡主突然笑的前仰后合,用力拍着腿说道:“没事没事!你们都下去,这人说话好有意思啊,本主肚皮都快给他笑破了,你再说一个好笑的,能让我再笑出来,我就放了你们!”
“好!那我问你一个问题……”
赵官仁拎起裙子蹲到她面前,说道:“有一天小母牛彻夜未归,小公牛急的四处找,第二天夜里小母牛才回来,夫妻二牛睡了一觉,公牛忽然怒道,贱牛!你居然敢跟大象通奸,请问小公牛是如何发现的?”
“大象那么大,母牛那么小,这如何通奸啊……”
小郡主一脸困惑的摇着头,宫女和太监们也是苦思冥想,最娘炮的首领太监立即说道:“主子!咱家知道了,畜生的鼻子都很灵敏,定是那小公牛嗅出大象的气味了!”
“肯定不对,这有啥好笑的……”
小郡主摆了摆手,赵官仁便做了个圆形的手势,然后猛地拉大,说道:“因为牛……逼,大了呗!”
“噗~”
小郡主猛地将苹果渣喷在赵官仁脸上,居然笑的滑到了地上,拍着椅子拼命的狂笑,宫女们虽然臊的满脸通红,可还是一个个笑的全身发抖,连两个太监都背过去笑的直哆嗦。
“来来来!我再问你一个,答不上来得拔毛,敢不敢……”
赵官仁在小郡主的胳膊上戳了戳,小郡主抹着眼泪
笑道:“有何不敢,但我得先问你一个,这天上有多少星星?”
“九千八百六十二万三千两百二十一颗,不信你自己数……”
赵官仁指着天空一脸得意,这弱智问题他上小学就会了,但小郡主和宫女们都傻眼了,小郡主难以置信的说道:“你怎知道的,我问过很多人,没有一人答的上来!”
“编的呀!反正也数不出来……”
赵官仁摊开手一脸好笑,小郡主立即捶了他一群,娇憨道:“你这贱人的狗胆可真大,这话要是敢在我皇爷爷面前说,他非定你个欺君之罪不可,现在轮到你了,赶紧问吧!”
“听好了啊!”
赵官仁盘腿坐在她面前,问道:“男有毛,女有毛,上面有毛,下面也有毛,晚上就来它一个毛对毛,请问这是在做何事?”
果然!
皇家的子女都早熟,小郡主嗔怪的瞪眼道:“房事啊!登徒子!你尽跟本主说这些污七八糟的东西,要是让我皇爷爷知道了,非砍你的狗头不可,给我拔掉他十根毛!”
“郡主!你思想为何如此肮脏啊……”
赵官仁大惊小怪的说道:“我说的可是眼睫毛啊,毛对毛不就是闭上眼睡觉吗,你把我当什么人了?”
“你……”
小郡主眨着眼又傻了,宫女们也跟着恍然大悟,但小郡主却拉起裙摆不屑的说道:“你拔吧!反正本主腿上没有毛,唉呀~”
赵官仁猛地拔了她一根头发,笑道:“我可没说拔你腿毛,敢不敢再来一个啊,这回再输我拔你腋毛!”
“来就来!谁怕谁啊……”
小郡主下意识抓了抓小腋窝,赵官仁立马火力全开,简直就是老司机笑话大全,偌大的宅院里就听小郡主不停浪笑,毛被拔了都在咯咯直笑,太监和宫女也全被笑翻在地。
“大人!咱还能活着出去吗,他拔郡主的腋毛啊……”
师爷颤巍巍的爬到了宋吃猪身边,宋吃猪也笑的直抽抽,抽咽道:“他连郡主的胸都摸了,反正都是杀头的死罪,管他娘的呢,听到没?龙筋插错凤眼,插进老臣、老臣……唉哟~可笑死我了!”
“咦?”
端亲王和夏首辅正欣赏园林美景,夏首辅回身惊疑道:“何事如此可乐,小郡主已经笑了许久了!”
“不应当啊!宁儿平日里虽活泼好动,可也不该笑的如此欢脱呀……”
端亲王只差没说笑的太浪了,谁都能听出那笑声豪放又狂浪,还伴随着嗔怪的骂声,完全是一副打情骂俏的状态。
“启禀殿下!”
一位老太监拱手笑道:“赵云轩先前冒犯了郡主,把她当做民间女子,往她嘴里塞了颗糖豆,郡主心地纯良,未与他计较,只是命他穿上女装跳支舞,老臣私以为,应是他跳的太好笑了
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