第75章 拉肚子…
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下午文乐来和我换班,文乐一手拄着拐一手掂着一个电饭煲过来了,里面炖的是特意给我和淑英带的猫肉!淑英打开锅盖一闻简直快香迷糊了,肉下面是蒸的米饭!多多也出不了这辛辣食物,文乐知道我俩都爱吃辣的,特意还放了好多干辣椒出味,文乐没给我俩拿碗,就拿了两只勺子让我和淑英一起挖着吃!
文乐说:“你俩天天睡一个床呢,就直接挖着吃吧,带碗挺麻烦的!“
淑英笑着说:“文乐就是聪明,多会儿省事!我俩都是穿穿一条裤子的,你拿一个勺子就行啦…”
文乐也笑着说:“你俩那裤子别人也穿不上啊!”
我斜叽文乐一眼说:“闭上你臭嘴吧,瞧你那损色儿!”
我和淑英狼吞虎咽的一勺米一勺肉的吃着,我俩边吃还边和文乐有说有笑的聊天,我俩笑得嘴里的米饭都喷到多多病床上了,不到十五分钟我俩把这一电饭煲里的食物全吃完了,锅里吃的一粒米都不剩了。我和淑英默契的对视一笑相互打了几个饱嗝,文乐看到我俩这样尴尬的张着大嘴一脸嫌弃的表情。
这时候我看见文乐老是时不时在脖子上抓痒,都抓出血印了,我过去帮他挠一挠,从领口往里面看一看脖子下面全身都起的红点点!
我惊讶的说:“文乐,你过敏了,正好在医院给你开点过敏药吃吧!”
文乐挠痒挠的眼睛都挤着说:“买那干啥,浪费钱!睡一觉明天就好了,我好像是对猫肉过敏,我一吃就这样,然后睡一觉就好了,最近老是这样…”
淑英说:“这过敏以后文乐猫肉你可不能再吃了!”
文乐咧着嘴不服的表情说:“这怕啥,想吃啥就吃,人生苦短,就要及时行乐!我都快六十岁的人了我连吃口子肉还忌个口啊!太憋屈了!”
我们聊的正高兴时候,淑英突然变得坐立不安,屁想憋都憋不住的,猛的一下狂放了好几个又臭又响的屁出来!淑英顿时从脖子一下红到了耳朵根满脸通红!此时空气都突然安静了,紧接着淑英先打破了安静,起身问我要了一卷卫生纸,立马夹着屁股的朝卫生间飞奔了过去!文乐这时候拿手乎扇了几下,说这味道大的!
我朝文乐挤了挤下眼说:“别乱说了,一会儿人家听到了!”
文乐说:“去厕所了,听不到,这屁放的臭死了,我要不是腿脚不便懒得动,我立马下楼下呼吸新鲜空气起了!”
我小声的说:“别说了,一会儿回来听到了!”
我和文乐各自玩着自己手机,半个小时左右淑英从厕所回来,一脸气血不足,虚脱的表情!
淑英说:“这可拉死我了…”
我对着文乐说:“你这猫肉什么时候的,不新鲜吧?”
文乐不高兴的说:“我也吃了,我也没拉肚子啊,要不然一会儿你和我回去,我给你看看猫毛都是新鲜的!我回去刚杀的,不要太新鲜了!”
淑英不好意思地说:“三凤,我这肯定是刚刚吃了肉喝了凉水拉肚了呗,你看你喝的是热水就没事!”
我刚想说文乐,我肚子开始搅着疼,我也突然放起了又响又臭的屁,这屁放的憋都憋不住,整个病房都是臭屁味,文乐赶快拄着拐杖把窗户开到了最大,散味!我都没来点及脸红,感觉屁股里的排泄物都快要憋不住了,我拿着淑英剩下的半卷纸和我自己的手机就往厕所一溜烟的飞奔了过去!
这时候多多突然睡醒了说:“我怎么闻到一股屎味呢,好臭啊!”
文乐温柔的对多多说道:“多多你继续睡吧,医生让你多休息,这是你妈放的屁,一会儿就不臭了啊,窗户都打开了,你睡着就没味了!”
多多笑着说:“爸爸,妈妈是放屁喷出屎了吗,这也太臭了吧,把我给熏醒了!”
文乐也笑着说:“别人妈妈是水做的,你妈妈是屎做得,哈哈哈哈,反正都是你妈你可不能嫌弃你妈!”
多多笑着说:“哈哈哈哈哈,妈妈是屎做的…”
文乐说:“好了好了,赶快睡觉,多睡觉好得快!”
金淑英对着文乐说:“你这样说三凤,三凤知道了可饶不了你,那你是什么做的!”
文乐不屑的带着藁城腔调说:“我是女娲捏的,我是泥做的…”
淑英噗呲一下笑了,淑英把“泥”听成“你”了,淑英捂着嘴憋着笑的说:“你可不是我做的!我可不是你妈!”
文乐听到也感觉说话搞笑的不行,俩人都在憋着笑,主要怕笑的太大声影响到其他病人…
此时在厕所的我,刚把裤子褪下去,我就听见噼里啪啦像放鞭炮似的,又以喷射的方式喷了一便池的粪便!我把屁股撅了起来,头低了下去看了看便池,便池无死角的全崩上了比土黄色要黄一些的粪便,给我低头看的闻的有些脑缺氧,我又完全蹲下去把头抬了起来!虽然是我自己拉的屎,但这味道熏我自己都受不了,我把手机先夹到
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