第54章 怒怼文殊
顶点小说(dingdian666.com)更新快,无弹窗!
文殊很受伤。
你说你嚣张就嚣张嘛,你打我干什么!
张北玄看着文殊这个样子,怒气道:“怎么了?不服气啊!”
文殊也来脾气了,吼道:“对!就是不服气,我好心劝你,你不听就算了,还以德报怨!!!”
张北玄笑了,看着文殊,叉腰说道:“我打你,纯粹是因为你该打!”
文殊怒气道:“我乃四大菩萨之一,普渡众生,有何过错要该打!”
一听文殊说自己没有错,张北玄来劲,因为他永远也不忘了,看西游记的时候,看到乌鸡国那一集!
因为好奇,他还特地查了一下乌鸡国国王的生平经历,结果不查不知道,一查吓一跳,对于文殊菩萨是痛恨不已!
“我问你,乌鸡国国王你记不记得?”
文殊听到张北玄问乌鸡国,也就是自己亲手参加的给唐僧布置的那一难,有些皱眉道:“记得,怎么了,那是我安排的劫难,有什么不妥嘛!”
张北玄看文殊没有丝毫认识到自己的错误之心,上去就是一巴掌道:“还怎么了,一点都不知道错误,还怎么了!”
“我问你,那乌鸡国国王做错了什么,你要那么对待他!”
文殊又被打了一巴掌,气愤不已道:“那家伙不识抬举!我带着我佛旨意,前去度化他,欲度其成罗汉金身,没想到他不但不理会我的好意,还将我吊在水里面三天三夜,此等对佛门不敬的人,当然要施加惩戒!”???.biQuPai.coM
张北玄瞅着文殊,带着愤怒道:“所以,你就让你的坐骑,青狮化身成为全真道人,夺了那乌鸡国王之位,让他在井水中受了三年冤死之苦!”
文殊丝毫不避讳,都聊到这里了,直接不装了,“没错,是又如何!”
张北玄直接过去,又是一巴掌。
“你还挺傲娇啊!你怎么这么小肚鸡肠,一个佛门四大菩萨之一,跟一个凡人还如此斤斤计较,这就是你们佛门的度量!”
“还有,你能不能不要那么自大好不好,你自己想想看,你化身成为一个普普通通的和尚,过去跟一个国王说:你不要活了,赶紧死吧,跟我干吧,我带你去西方,我佛要给他罗汉金身果位!”
说到这里,张北玄都郁闷的看着文殊说道:“我告诉你,我要是乌鸡国王,我直接当场就给你推出去斩了!吊你在水里三天三夜,都算乌鸡国王心地善良的了!
你说你就不能露出真身嘛,再不及,你周围搞点特效,冒冒烟,脚下踩点彩云、祥瑞什么的,整出一点神佛的样子好不好!
你踏马整一个神棍的样子,去跟一个国王说,让他去死,你不是神经病你是什么!”
文殊似乎被说的有些理亏,因为他后来想了想,确实是应该露出一点法术,才好有说服力,不过他身处高位惯了,怎么可能愿意将耳朵贴近人间,就算犯错,他也不会认错!
“那他也不能将我吊在水里面三天三夜!”
文殊梗着脖子说道。
张北玄骂骂咧咧道:“你看你长的这个逼样,我踏马看你就来气!你说,你那坐骑将乌鸡国王推到井里面淹死,待上三年,为你泄愤也就泄愤了!
最踏马让我恶心的是,你居然纵容你的坐骑青狮,霸占了人家的老婆,还让人家的儿子管他叫爹!!!”
说到这里,以前在地球经常看爱情动作片的张北玄,都不由撸起袖子,用手不断的点着文殊的额头骂道:“啊!你个王八蛋,还是菩萨嘛,干出来的事情跟畜生有什么区别啊,这多残忍啊!哪里有一点一毫的慈悲心肠!杀完了人,还要诛心!!!”
文殊有些沉默,或许是因为挂不住脸。
张北玄说的激动,伸手揪着文殊的耳朵继续骂道:“你自己想想,你有多变态啊,比踏马小日子还变态!口味居然这么重!
“人妻中出”也就算了!
还爱看上“人兽”了!
奶奶的,我最饥渴的时候,都没有如此重口味过!
踏马的,畜生啊,畜生啊!!!”
说着,张北玄又给了文殊两巴掌。
金吒在一边默默的听着,不知道为什么,在听完张北玄说完之后,他觉得,自己师傅好像做的是有点过分。
就像张北玄说的,杀了乌鸡国国王,淹他三年,泄愤也就泄愤了,但是,让青狮骑乌鸡国老婆,让他孩子叫爹,确实过分了。
文殊被打的脸都红了。
他辩解道:“我根本不知道这些,我只是让青狮淹死乌鸡国国王而已,剩下的,都不是我授意的!”
张北玄骂道:“你蒙谁呢?打狗还要看主人呢?你养的狮子,没有你的命令,他敢干出这么不要脸的事情嘛!”
说到这,张北玄意味深长的笑道:“哦对了,你们还是要脸的,佛门怎么可能有这样败类呢!让青狮化身成为全真道人,栽赃给道
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