第297章 千字买笑(二更送上)

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出令:“不拘宫内宫外,有能致褒后一笑者,赏赐千金。”
    虢石父献计曰:“先王昔年因西戎强盛,恐彼入寇,乃于俪山之下,置烟墩二十余所,又置大鼓数十架,但有贼寇,放起狼烟,直冲霄汉,附近诸侯,发兵相救,又呜起大鼓,催趱前来。今数年以来,天下太平,烽火皆熄。吾主若要王后启齿,必须同后游玩俪山,夜举烽烟,诸侯援兵必至,至而无寇,王后必笑无疑矣。”
    幽王曰:“此计甚善!”乃同褒后并驾往骊山游玩,至晚设宴俪宫,传令举烽。
    时郑伯友正在朝中,以司徒为前导,闻命大惊,急趋至驱宫奏曰:“烟墩者,先王所设以备缓急,所以取信于诸侯。今无故举烽,是戏诸侯也。异日倘有不虞,即使举烽,诸侯必不信矣。将何物征兵以救急哉?”
    幽王怒曰:“今天下太平,何事征兵!朕今与王后出游俪官,无可消遣,聊与诸侯为戏。他日有事,与卿无与!”遂不听郑伯之谏。大举烽火,复擂起大鼓。鼓声如雷,火炮烛天。
    国内诸侯,疑镐京有变,一个个即时领兵点将,连夜赶至俪山,但闻楼阁管箭之音。幽王与褒妃饮酒作乐,使人谢诸侯曰:“幸无外寇,不劳跋涉。”诸侯面面相觑,卷旗而口。褒妃在楼上,凭栏望见诸侯忙去忙回,并无一事,不觉抚掌大笑。幽王曰:“爱卿一笑,百媚俱生,此虢石父之力也!”遂以千金赏之。至今俗语相传“千金买笑”,盖本于此。
    上述这些文字,引用稍多。但朋友们可以从中领略古代之官场百态,很多地方,仍和今日之官场异曲同工。
    吴天然不是周幽王,他不可能整天陪着王聪聪弹琴唱歌,也不可能去天天撕裂绸缎,更不可能去烽火戏诸侯。但吴天然本身就有幽默的细胞,也有妙笔生花的本领。他便写了一篇文章,来让王聪聪欣赏。王聪聪看罢,果然露出了难得的笑容。
    吴天然这篇文章的标题是《唐僧给悟空的一封信》。悟空徒儿:那天没有接你电话,是因为正在开会,现在会场都有监控,所以要注意的。有些话电话说不清楚,就给你写了这封信。你是一个很有本事的人,没有你为师早被妖怪吃掉变成肥料了。但是时代变了,只靠本事是不够的,你该转变观念了,这点要多向八戒学习,他现在混的左右逢源,如鱼得水,不但上层路线走得好,在女同志中威信也很高。上次推荐优秀年轻干部,你只得到了2票,1票是我的,估计还有1票是沙和尚的,八戒的票却是遥遥领先,据说嫦娥也给他投了1票,你说说,现在的女同志怎么这样啊,难道忘记八戒醉酒调戏了吗。悟空,你要好好反省一下,虽然取经路上做出了许多贡献,但那些都属于过去,现在关键要和领导搞好关系,消除大闹天宫的不良影响,你当花果山风景区管委会的临时负责人好多年了,为什么没有转正,原因还用说吗,知道你脾气直,送礼脸红,红就红呗,还能红过你屁股啊。听说那个六耳猕猴一直想取代你的位置,还给王母娘娘送了猴头,你别生气,古训说的好啊,舍不得孩子套不住狼。我们西天取经的五个人,白龙马是标准的“权二代”加“富二代”,取经回来才几天,就任命为东海管委会副主任了,上次邀请我东海10日游,那排场为师都嫉妒了,比我这个西游管委会的主任还NB。八戒和沙僧是派下来挂职锻炼的,现在都官复原职了。就你是从石头缝里蹦出来的,没爹没娘,没有背景,所以一切都要靠自己,用时下流行的话说,你是寡妇命,上面没人。不管怎样,你都要改变,别老是火眼金睛的,让人不舒服,时代变化太快了,八戒的孩子都10几岁了,沙僧已经和六仙女同居了,就你还是独身一人,都什么年代了,别老是揪住人家过去不放,白骨精就不错,不但是影视歌三栖明星了,还号称白领骨干精英,上次人家还说你是标准的男子汉,你也该考虑一下了。昨天女儿国国王催我结婚的事情,我想尽快把婚事办了,虽然她没有蜘蛛精那么性感,可是家庭背景好,以后对为师的仕途帮助大,如果蜘蛛精愿意了,就做个红颜知己,不说了,说的有点多了。悟空,好好考虑一下为师的意见,为师给你写的不是信,写的是心啊。
    王聪聪看罢,笑着说:“老公,谢谢你了。我知道你的良苦用心,你就放心吧,我以后会振作的。”
    吴天然说:“这样,为师我就放心了!”
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