36.急诊定律(求收藏推荐)
顶点小说(dingdian666.com)更新快,无弹窗!
急诊和其他科室不同,有着各种特殊的定律,包括了衣食住行,甚至哲学玄学等各个方面,非人力可逆。
定律1:不要说闲,说闲必定没好事。
定律2:急诊有禁忌食谱,严禁带入诊疗室。包括芒果(忙成狗),草莓(早没),所有带mei音的食物(霉),所有带血、旺的食物(典型例子:毛血旺,预示科室收人红红火火)......
定律3:严禁穿红色衣物,红内裤也不行!
定律4:纪清是夜班死神,绝不能上夜班。
定律5:没事别乱换班,会打乱急诊之神的排队节奏,必定要出事。
定律6:在正式下班之前都不要去妄想下班后的美好生活,问问在急诊待了几年的老医生吧,血淋淋的事实摆在那儿呢。
定律7:欺生定律,但凡新来的必定会被神明欺负。所谓天将降大任于斯人也,必先......你懂的。
定律8:墨菲定律,一件事如果有变坏的可能,那不管几率有多小,在急诊是必定会变坏的。急诊铁则:做最坏的打算,向最好的方向努力。
八条定律之后就是各种玄学物品了。
其中有本身就能发挥不小定神作用的小玩意儿,也有需要摆好阵形的各类图谱,甚至还有构筑起立体结构的三维图形,看得李玉川是一愣愣的。
“这可都是历年急诊科留下的瑰宝,好好学学。”
“这,这也太迷信了吧。”小伙子笑着合上小本子,尴尬地说道,“我们可是科学工作者,怎么可以......”
啪!
话还没说完,李玉川头上被王廷用病例记录册狠狠地抽了一顿:“你懂个屁!”
“我......”
祁镜在旁眼睛虽然看着杂志,但注意力全在这里:“定律1是最忌讳的,每次说完这话就会不太平,王老师多少年急诊主任做下来了,这点肯定比你清楚。”
没等他多作解释,一个小护士就从外急冲冲地跑了进来:“来车了!来车了!20不到的小年轻,神志不清,非喷射样呕吐,黄黄绿绿的吐了一地。还有,观察2室的一个病人胸闷的厉害,4室的一个不小心坠床了,你们谁去看看?”
“我靠!”
“我就知道!一来来仨!”王廷没好气地起身就往外走,临出门还不忘狠狠盯上李玉川一眼,“又一个灾星!”
“走吧!”纪清在脖子上挂上听诊器,拉着李玉川出去接诊。
祁镜唯恐天下不乱,笑得是合不拢嘴:“要是有好玩的,可得告诉我啊。”
前一分钟,诊疗室还坐满了医生,下一分钟就只剩祁镜一人。他正好趁现在整理一下今早大四学生交上来的答案,希望能从里面找到些好苗子。
之前课堂上他也看中过几个人,看成绩很普通,一直处在中下游,而且前几学期还有过不及格的记录。
后来经过辅导员谈话才知道,这些人考试前一天夜里都在通宵玩游戏,根本没把学习当回事儿。把家长叫来一起批评教育了一番后,假期里的补考倒是全过了,事儿只能不了了之。
这几人实力肯定差了些,但从他们的答案来看,其实学习热情还是有的,只不过被枯燥的书本和课堂给磨光了。
算上另外几位高材生,祁镜已经找到了些不错的雏鸟。之后只要再找肖玉要几次授课机会,推广一下自己的授课方法,积攒人气。说到好玩的课,他肚子里还有不少,“江湖论”只是个开始。
到时候他就能组成一个急诊见习观摩团,问祁森要个通行证,由他来带队,在急诊好好玩上几天。
“医生......”
祁镜听到叫声,依然埋头看着那些学生们的作业,只是抬手做了个指向隔壁的手势:“这里是重症急救室,隔壁才是普通急诊,有问题去那儿排队。”
“不是我,是我孙女。”
祁镜依然没有抬头,只是换了手势,朝向了天花板:“儿科急诊在楼上。”
“医生,她快不行了!”
“不行了?”
祁镜猛地抬头看去,老汉正抱着孙女,老泪纵横,差点就跪在了地上。怀里的小姑娘闭着双眼睡在老汉的臂弯里,两只手都捂着肚子,看上去非常痛苦。
这个李玉川嘴巴开了光吗?一说就来人,还把最麻烦的儿科留给了我!
“出什么事儿了?”
老汉把孩子抱到座位上坐下,一边哽咽一边说道:“她早上说肚子疼,我带她来看病,刚进大门口就说喉咙不舒服,之后就说不出话了。”
祁镜看了小孩一眼,一边搭脉搏一边冲着门口喊道:“小梅!”
“正忙呢,谁喊我?”
门外传来了应声,不一会儿穿着一身粉白色护士服的小梅就跑了过来。她见是祁镜,心里没好气地说道:“和你说了,别叫那么亲切,别人误会了怎么办?”
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