第八零章 笑话,人贵自知,你有吗?
顶点小说(dingdian666.com)更新快,无弹窗!
刘备果然是个人才,有办法居然一开始不说,非要被揍老实了,才忍不住说出来。
程远志一听,心头大喜,有时候就得对麾下文臣武将压担子,抽鞭子。这不,一打完之后,刘备谋略如泉涌,就有了计策。
脸上重新洋溢起了笑容,程远志抬腿就是一脚,往刘备身上猛踹了一下,手力是还没恢复,脚力可不差,大喝道:
“有话快说,有屁快放。这里又没有外人,吞吞吐吐的像什么样,跟个娘们似的。”
又挨了一脚,刘备痛得快要透不过气了,但不敢怠慢下去了,赶紧急道:
“刺史,既然伯安和伯圭都想当幽州刺史,不如刺史就拿刺史一职出来,当作彩头,对他们进行一番考核,只要考核通过了,就由他们其中一人来当刺史,而刺史你可以主动晋升为幽州牧。”
“刺史自领为幽州牧,再由备和伯安两个汉室宗亲为刺史上表,禀明天子,这事就成了。如此一来,刺史你高升为幽州牧,伯安和伯圭也能公平竞争,参加考核,竞岗刺史,这符合刺史之前所说的,任人唯贤,用人唯能。”
刘备的馊主意,其实里面坑多着呢。
要是程远志自领为幽州牧,那就不再担任刺史一职了,而刘备之前考核通过的涿郡郡守,也就有了理由可以请求兑现了。
另外,让刘虞和公孙瓒公平竞争,参加考核,却没点明考核并不简单,妥妥的挨锤节奏。
能扛得过程远志的铁锤,侥幸活下来的,才有机会成为刺史,看刘虞那小身板,怕是难喽。
公孙瓒年轻点,但身骨子也不硬,娇生惯养的。
幽州牧,程远志也挺感兴趣的,主要是刺史这官不够威风,洛阳那边生意做得太火热了,大大小小的订单都不放过,一天少说也会产生上百个刺史,无数个郡守。
继续当刺史下去,没劲。今天是刘虞来,多了一个刺史,明天说不定又有人上门,拿着刺史诏书说事,像苍蝇一样驱赶不尽,烦躁。
而幽州牧,这官职听着就新鲜,之前去洛阳好像也没人卖这种官。
程远志眉头一挑,大为发火,愤怒地催促道:
“然后呢?说人话,叽叽歪歪的,这幽州牧是个什么玩意儿?值钱吗?快说,再不说,小心将你的腿给打断了。”
为了护住腿,不成为残疾人,刘备妙语连珠,强颜欢笑道:
“刺史,幽州牧是凌驾于刺史和郡守之上的官职,可以任意任免官员,甚至是跨过州郡进行任免。一幽之地,刺史掌管兵马,主管武事,而郡守为郡官之首,统抓内政。但幽州牧就厉害了,不仅管着刺史,还管着郡守,而且还能管到其他州郡。”
“所以,备恳请刺史自领为幽州牧,再以刺史之职封赏有功之臣,以示激励。这不是备个人的想法,而是伯安和备一致的共识,刺史居功至伟,丰功伟绩,为百姓们爱戴,理应自领幽州牧,才能统筹文臣武将,共同将幽州发展得更好,带领冀州、青州和兖州等地一起致富,走向繁荣。”
州牧,的确是比刺史和郡守更高的官职,但大汉以郡县制为主要管理,根本就没有州牧这个说法。州牧,顾名思义,是一州之牧,牧则为管理的意思。
刘备这是在程远志洗脑,偷换概念,就算自领为幽州牧,但幽州的州牧怎么可能管得到青州、冀州和兖州呢。其实,这就是典型的口径问题,对外宣称幽州牧,变成了居住在幽州的州牧。
那可不得了啦,州牧嘛,大汉十三州,哪个州不归州牧管?
程远志猛拉马鞭,再次狠狠地鞭打刘备一次,笑道:
“好,那某就当这个幽州牧,幽州牧听起来还有点意思,某勉为其难,替你们当了幽州牧,唉,自领幽州牧,本州牧就是劳碌命,没办法的事。玄德举荐有功,理应该赏。说吧,玄德想要什么?”
程远志问完刘备,不待刘备提要求,转身看了看刘虞和公孙瓒,同样开始施恩,问道:
“还有你们几个,想当刺史的就当刺史,想当郡守就赏郡守,都说说,一起喝酒,图的就是乐呵,本州牧统统都赏给你们,让你们感受一下大公无私的州牧关怀。”
刘虞心有余戚,又看了看刘备那幅惨样,怎么敢得寸进尺,小心翼翼地问道:
“州牧,某想当刺史,这幽州刺史还是某来当?”
刘虞一问,程远志猛地一鞭甩过去,大喝道:
“准了!吃了本州牧的鞭子,以后伯安你也是自己人了,幽州刺史就赏给你了。”
那一鞭打在刘虞的手背上,刘虞被鞭抽得满手是血,但听到幽州刺史还是留着给了刘虞,刘虞顿时没觉得那么痛了。
公孙瓒心生不快,凭什么刘虞这降将能当幽州刺史,那身为功臣的公孙瓒自然也得捞一点好处,赶紧上前求官道:
“州牧,瓒也想当刺史,为州牧做事,给州牧分忧,烦请州牧能够同意。
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