第五百零四章 我,格雷特,擅割痔疮?

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    “我的,我的我的!”
    “我捞起来的!”
    “奥罗你不要抢!”
    “嘶……呼……好烫啊!”
    一群魔法师围着脸盆大的铜锅,各出奇招,在锅里捞吃的:
    法师之手捞起雪白的鱼片,飞舞着回到主人盘子里,红汤淋淋漓漓,洒落满地;
    安妮维雅催动藤蔓,兜起一大堆萝卜片,莴笋片,菠菜,甘蓝,卷心菜,神术刚催生的绿豆芽和豌豆苗。当然,绝对少不了鱼片,鱼片和鱼片;
    伯纳德虽然不会法术,但是他抄在手里的漏勺,比谁的法师之手都大!
    格雷特微笑着看他们乱抢。这副热热闹闹,咋咋呼呼的样子,和他大学里的经历何其相似。那时候,一帮同学饿了,馋了,就溜到医学院后门那条街上,聚餐一顿,打个牙祭。
    那时候水煮鱼正好流行,一宿舍点一大锅,连鱼片带里面的配菜捞个干干净净。鱼片和蔬菜里的汤,流下来沾在米饭上,随便搅一搅,就可以唏哩呼噜吃一大碗。
    平摊一下,所费不多。一顿吃完,人人都是红光满面,拍着鼓鼓的肚皮回校……
    说起来,法师塔也是个学习、研究机构,不是么。
    这一顿吃得极大满足。到最后,连赛瑞拉片好的鱼片,都被大伙儿逼着格雷特重新加工,做成了水煮鱼片。
    嗯,没有芥末,没有酱油,直接上手吃生鱼片,总是有点怪怪的,不是吗?
    然而乐极生悲。格雷特的水煮鱼片,加了大量的辣椒、胡椒、各种各种椒。吃得时候嘶啦嘶啦地又辣又爽,吃完了以后……
    第二天,诺伍德法师背着众人,龇牙咧嘴,一扭一扭地溜进了格雷特房间。
    “怎么了?”
    格雷特一看他的走路姿势就笑了。这姿势他熟啊!肛肠科那边,一帮穿裙子的大老爷们,每个人都是这样子!
    “那个……诺德马克先生……我……听说您治好了那个孩子,您是否对……也有了解……”
    格雷特忍住笑,仔细问诊。问题倒是不大,吃多了辣导致的便秘,痔疮出血。格雷特直接丢了一个治疗术,暂时止血,然后,对于便秘的问题……
    “要不然你试试这个?”
    他翻啊翻,翻出一瓶甘油。用空心藤蔓插入直肠,注射器推注进去,嘱咐诺伍德法师:
    “忍住啊!忍到不能再忍的时候再拉!”
    好一会儿,诺伍德法师满头大汗,一身轻松地从盥洗室出来,向格雷特道谢。格雷特趁势拽住他:
    “来都来了,你要不要顺便检查一下痔疮?不管是内痔、外痔、混合痔,我都会动手术,保证出血少,疗效高,反正愈合起来也方便,就是一个治疗术的事儿……”
    “你真行?——我听黑鸦沼泽那些家伙说,他们不是没人动手自己割过,往往一刀下去,立刻就大出血!”
    “嘿嘿,那是他们根本不懂解剖结构……”
    格雷特亲自动手,顺顺利利,给诺伍德法师切下两个肉球。一边切一边聊,格雷特才知道,有便秘、痔疮毛病的魔法师,原来不是一个两个……
    “唉,便秘不是病,拉不出来是真的要命啊!这一天天的,喝蓖麻油,用肥皂水灌肠,出血了用治疗药水洗——虽然只是治疗微伤药水——就很麻烦……”
    格雷特默默点头。他自己虽然不至于如此,但是很多魔法师,看书,冥想,一坐就是一天。缺乏体力运动,饮食不健康,肉多菜少,没有膳食纤维——
    你不便秘谁便秘?
    至于便秘的处理方式么……
    “你要不要带一瓶这个回去试?”
    格雷特把装着甘油的玻璃瓶往诺伍德法师面前一放。这位中年法师看看瓶子,想了想,还是摇头:
    “算了算了,太麻烦了。我又不会自然神教的神术,那些灌肠器什么的,操作起来也非常别扭……”
    “那……”
    格雷特心里,自然而然浮现了一样前世神器。他随手释放了一个【无声幻影】,左捏捏,右捏捏,勾勒出一瓶开塞露的模样:
    “你看这个怎么样?”
    诺伍德法师凝神去看。掌心大的小玩意儿,下面是富有弹性的皮囊,可以很方便地捏动;
    上面是一根细细的管子,光滑坚硬,进入人体内部的时候不至于弯折,头部圆钝,也戳不伤娇嫩的黏膜;
    含量不多,一只皮囊里,也就20毫升的模样,但是诺伍德法师以自己接受治疗的经历来看,应该……够用?
    “看起来自己一个人用也很方便……”他以一位变化系魔法师的眼光评估着,沉吟着:
    “难点在于,管子和皮囊的连接问题。连得不够紧,这一捏,就会从接缝里冒出来;连得太紧,以后重新灌装比较麻烦……等等你这个怎么是连在一起的?”
    格雷特摊手。开塞露啊,当然是一体成型,谁还弄个小皮
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