第130章 指桑骂槐
顶点小说(dingdian666.com)更新快,无弹窗!
“该死的奴才!罚酒三杯,谁让你害我们笑的肚子疼!”柳如云不由分说,揪着萧辰的耳朵逼着他灌了三杯酒。
“这个奴才也委实该罚……”李万疆抹了一把笑出来的眼泪,指向端木南乔,“爱妃你也讲一个吧。”
“姐姐不会,我更不会啦,还是请萧辰代劳吧。”端木南乔起身亲自给萧辰斟了一杯酒,“劳烦你咯。”
“就也没道理了,皇上皇后几位娘娘你们这是赏罚不明呀,笑话不好笑要罚酒,好笑也要罚?”萧辰苦着脸无奈之极。
“少废话,快讲!”柳如云笑道。
“哎嗻!”萧辰略一思索,“这个却是前朝的事儿了,前朝司礼监掌印大太监叫刘海山的,他本来是汉军中的一员悍将,甚为骁勇善战的,在一次激烈的战斗中受了重伤,下面那活儿被刀子割掉了……”
“前朝皇帝怜惜他,便即将他调到了身边,封他做了司礼监掌印大太监,可谓恩荣颇深。”
“他自己倒也没怎么在意,毕竟用那活儿换了一个掌印大太监是很值了,只是无法行房事而已,可是他老婆却甚为悲痛,每天晚上都要哭哭啼啼,喋喋不休的埋怨他……”
“他就跟老婆苦口婆心的解释,自己虽然遭受不测,但毕竟也做了这么大的官儿,你都是三品夫人了,有什么好难过的?可是他老婆却还是啼哭不止,说自己不稀罕他做大官儿,只希望他有鸡鸡……”
“他便也忍不住的怒了,拍案而起,大声骂道,你这可真真儿的是妇人之见了!要依着你这么说,难道我这个司礼监的掌印太监连个卵子都不如?”
大家伙听完,又是哄堂大笑,谁都知道龚守礼也是没有小鸡鸡的,萧辰这家伙甚为可恶,他这就是指桑骂槐,拿人家龚守礼开心呢!
就差明着说龚守礼连个卵子都不如了。
气的龚守礼不顾君前失礼,撸胳膊挽袖子的要跟萧辰放对!
“守礼,这不就是个笑话吗?你何必如此生气,朕偏你一回,让你也讲一个来回怼萧辰。”李万疆笑道。
可是龚守礼就也没有人家萧辰那个本事,憋的脸通红也讲不出来,只得狠狠一跺脚,“奴才可没有他小子这么粗俗!”
“还是臣妾来讲一个吧。”柳如云笑道。
妙目流转,见众人中只有萧辰戴了一顶方巾,心里便也有了故事。
“有一个和尚正在路边撒尿,撒完就就便抖抖,这时路过了一个戴巾的学子……”柳如云说着瞟了萧辰一眼。
大家伙也一起看向萧辰,见他头上方巾,都会意一笑,心说这次轮到你小子要倒霉了。
“戴巾的学子性格诙谐,很喜欢开玩笑,便即逗人家和尚说,‘你师徒两个,在这儿讲什么悄悄话儿呢?’”
众人听到这里都忍不住的笑了,心说这话还真的是很像萧辰的口吻。
却听柳如云继续道,“那和尚转头瞧了学子一眼,依然抖动着那活儿,淡淡的回话说,‘贫僧是看他头有几多大,要折顶方巾与他戴戴。’”
哈哈哈!众人听了又是一阵大笑。
慕容丹秋笑的脸都红了,连说柳如云这个蹄子真是该死!
这是你一个贵妃该说的话?
“哎呀,朕都不记得已经多久没有笑的这么开心过了。”李万疆笑的通体舒畅,龙颜难得大悦。
“轮到臣妾也讲一个吧,不过皇上你先要恕臣妾无罪哦。”梁贵妃不甘其后,也主动要求逗大家伙一笑。
“无罪无罪。”李万疆很高兴。
“臣妾说的也是前朝的事儿了,有一个官儿很怕老婆,总是挨揍,他也是敢怒不敢言,有一天河东狮吼,老婆大发雌威,竟然将他的纱帽个踏破了!”
“他这可真的而生气了呀,直接跑到宫里找皇上告状,奏曰:‘臣启陛下,臣妻罗皂,昨日相争,踏破臣的乌纱帽也,请皇上下旨治罪她!’”
“皇上听说了沉默了半天才缓缓的说:‘爱卿还须忍忍的好,爱卿你有所不知,皇后也有些惫赖,昨晚与朕一言不合,将朕的平天冠打得粉碎……爱卿你的纱帽跟朕平天冠比起来,也只算得个卵袋!”
“哈哈哈!”李万疆笑的浑身乱颤,指着梁贵妃道,“爱妃啊,你拿朕取笑就也罢了,怎么还连带皇后了?”
慕容丹秋又好气又好笑,嗔道,“给我掌嘴这个小蹄子,让她胡说八道!”
当晚君臣可谓尽欢,只有龚守礼一人向隅,撅着嘴巴,闷闷不乐。
起驾回去的路上,自然要说几句萧辰的坏话,“萧辰这混小子当着皇上和皇后贵妃的面都如此无礼,可见他私底下为人如何了,奴才瞧他就是个妖孽,若是不除掉的话,早晚会秽乱后宫!”
“他一个太监,能秽乱什么后宫?再说这都是小事儿……”李万疆想要杀萧辰的理由,可没有这么简单。
用户部尚书陈文启的话说,萧辰此人颇有城府,智
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