第205章 脱口秀
顶点小说(dingdian666.com)更新快,无弹窗!
“大家好,我是柯林,欢迎来到每日生活秀……”
在例常的开场白后,看到柯林那副夸张的表情,电视机前的观众都是哈哈一笑,因为这是风靡全美的脱口秀节目之一。
“今天,我们谈论的是股票。而作为一名资深股民,想要告诉大家,华尔街,请别再骗我们啦!所以在前些天,那些吸血鬼上门向我推荐某支股票的时候,我很聪明的告诉我的老妈,那是……税务局的!”
一阵大笑,北美上下,有哪一位不痛恨那些税务官员呢?
“知道吗?那些吸血鬼推荐的是那支股票吗?告诉你们,就是——微软!然后在第二天,我无意间看了一眼行情,突然发现,居然哔哔的超过了300美元?300美元?哔哔哔哔……”
一连窜的屏蔽声,表达出柯林“内心的懊悔”。在笑声中,他继续道:“……没过了几天,微软居然跌回到100美元以下。哈哈哈,100美元,哇哈哈哈——!”在夸张的笑声中,柯林似乎突然醒悟,“如果我没记错,我应该没买过微软的股票吧?”
(场外音,又是一阵大笑!)
短暂的开场白后,观众们已经知道今天的脱口秀话题。虽然曾经闹的沸沸扬扬,但关心财经、股票的毕竟人数有限,与受众广泛的脱口秀节目相比,完全就是两个世界。
紧接着,连续出现了一组电视画面,而柯林恰到好处的评述就成为了点缀:
“……我也不想抱怨比尔盖茨先生的傲慢,……这可能就是您个人失败的开始!”(哇!这人是谁?)
“……对某位外行的痴人说梦,我不予置评。”(原来这小老头是外行)
“真抱歉,某位商学院缀学的人去研究计算机软件,这难道不外行吗?而我,起码也有学士学位!”(哇,这句说得好)
“……我考上的是哈弗!”
“……我老板是u……”(等等!)
电视画面立刻暂停,而柯林变得活灵活现:“等等等等,我一直以为,这小老头是哪家高科技公司的高管,或者是苏联的特工?怎么……他居然有老板?难道……这西装笔挺,这小老头是拉保险了吗?”场外一阵阵阵的哄堂大笑,而柯林妙语连珠,“比尔盖茨先生,你和拉保险的争吵什么呀?要吵,也要和那个躲在小老头身后的u去吵啊?”
而电视画面继续:“科地斯先生,您认为应不应该缀学创业?”
“校长先生,您认为学位重要吗?”
电视画面再次停格,满荧屏都是科地斯校长那张懵比脸。在哄堂大笑声中,柯林摇摇头:“可怜的科地斯校长先生。我认为,你应该另谋高就,应该去当u的校长!”
电视画面继续:“……我们尊重每个人的理念,包括那家可怜的白莲花公司,你们完全可以自己投资,开发一个邮购网络,想想怎么更好的把你们的垃圾广告纸塞进邮箱……”
“停!”柯林再次高呼,“什么白莲花公司?邮购公司?难道刚才的那些都是欺骗?那小老头居然是个邮差?比尔盖茨先生是在和邮差吵架?上帝,比尔盖茨先生,您家的加菲猫哪里去了呢?”
在一阵阵笑声中,画面继续:“……我原谅那位缀学者的无礼和傲慢,这就是没有学识和教养的恶果。作为微软的第四大股东,我们当然有提出建议的权利。至于我们的投资,比尔盖茨先生无权干涉。”(上帝,难道邮局都成了微软的大股东?)
“……我们微软的经营和研发同样不需要外人干涉……”(这是小孩子争糖果的吵架吗?)
“……我们怎么是外人?我们是微软的股东。鉴于比尔盖茨先生的独断专行,我们白莲花公司会联络包括保罗.艾伦先生在内的所有微软股东,希望能尽快召开股东大会,联手把比尔盖茨这位独裁者赶下微软董事长和ceo的座位!……”
柯林拍案叫绝:“说得好!可是……后面怎么没有了呢?”
在笑声中,出现了艾伦的电视画面,面对记者:“对于疯狗的话,我向来是置之不理。”
“嘘——!”观众一阵嘘声。被电视台这么一剪接,毫无疑问,比尔盖茨和艾伦的形象受到很大的伤害。他们就像是独裁的暴君,而白莲花和肯特却变成了独立奋争的堂吉柯德。
而电视荧屏上出现了公开信的内容。此时肯特已经意外受伤,而荆建就接过了这场骂战的旗帜:“……我们认为,就像当年苹果的乔纳斯那样,比尔盖茨先生已经是独裁独断,已经不适合微软的ceo一职。要像当年苹果的董事会那样,需要……”
柯林似乎在喃喃自语:“没有比尔盖茨先生的微软?不是我怀疑,真想请教那家白莲花邮局,有更好的ceo人选吗?”
立刻出现了另一段公开信的内容:“我们公司认为,尊敬的乔纳斯先生就很适合!”
“……”这次换成了柯林一脸懵逼。在笑声中,柯林问
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