第一百五十五章 如果我要杀死一条鱼……

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    粲粲二话不说躲在了乔慕辰身后,她死死的攥住乔慕辰的衣袖,胆战心惊的看着徐敏的方向对着乔慕辰说,“你妈不会真的要砍死我吧?”
    “要砍也是先砍死我,你把我拉的那么紧,轮不到你上场。”乔慕辰忽然就想起了刚刚进门之前,某个女人曾经扬言要壮烈牺牲。
    徐敏看到躲在乔慕辰身后的粲粲,脸色自然好看不到哪儿去。
    “你以为躲在慕辰的身后就不用做饭了?”徐敏走到乔慕辰身边,把粲粲从他身后拉了出来,然后将菜刀递到了粲粲的手里。
    粲粲将信将疑的看了看乔慕辰,这才对着徐敏开口,“您给我菜刀就是为了让我做饭吗?”
    “难道我还要砍你两刀吗?你脑子放在白家忘记带出来了是不是?”徐敏盯着粲粲的脑子,一脸嫌弃。
    粲粲瘪了瘪嘴,她总算知道乔慕辰那么会损人这招是跟谁学的了!!
    面对一脸刁难自己的徐敏,粲粲只是很淡定的说了一句,“我做饭不用菜刀。”
    乔慕辰勾起一抹腹黑的笑容,他家老婆做饭的确不用菜刀,因为炒鸡蛋,蒸鸡蛋,荷包蛋,鸡蛋汤,似乎真的都不用菜刀。
    乔慕辰看着正想看好戏的徐敏,“妈,如果我可以给你一个忠告的话,那就是最好不要把她带进厨房。”
    因为他今天早上刚刚吃过带着鸡蛋壳的鸡蛋。
    徐敏却是悠闲的坐在了沙发上,淡淡的说了一句,“想要做我乔家的媳妇儿,文韬武略不能拔得头筹,至少也要琴棋书画样样精通,柴米油盐处处会用。”
    文韬武略?这是国家要选贤举能吗?
    琴棋书画?还真当她是进宫选秀的啊?
    柴米油盐?她还真不信乔家是烧柴的!
    这摆明了给她脸色看嘛!
    看着粲粲低头沉思的模样,徐敏毫不留情的开口,“白小姐,你说是吗?”
    是个屁是!
    “是是是。琴棋书画嘛!钢琴我倒是会弹,一闪一闪亮晶晶,不过单键算不算?”粲粲勾起一抹天真纯良的笑容看着徐敏。
    徐敏竟是无言以对。
    粲粲绞尽脑汁,最后很骄傲的开口,“棋,五子棋我倒是会。
    ”
    乔慕辰:……
    这三岁小孩儿都会。
    “不过能不能赢那就不是我能控制的事情了。书呢,虽然我不怎么喜欢,但是言情小说我还是挺能看的。至于画,我想我应该是抽象派的。艺术嘛,看不懂的才有价值。是吧?老公!”粲粲踹了踹坐在沙发上一副憋不住笑容的乔慕辰,这男人那一脸小人得志的样子。让粲粲看得挠心抓肺的不爽。
    乔慕辰点头,这才开口看着徐敏,“我们这是古代君王制吗?妈,琴棋书画什么的。你看她也不是那块料。”
    “……”她怎么就不是那块料了!
    粲粲还没来得及反驳,就又听到乔慕辰开口,“而且,我认定的是这个人,而不是琴棋书画的技能。如果非要做到面面俱到,那我何不请个画家或者文人墨客?”
    “胳膊肘往外拐这事儿你跟你爸是一个模子里刻出来!”徐敏给了乔慕辰一个白眼,却没有和乔慕辰较劲儿的意思。
    她倒是转身看着还站在原地的粲粲,“你还傻站在这儿干嘛?拿着菜刀去厨房。少说我们乔家的媳妇儿至少也得是上得厅堂下得厨房。”
    拿着菜刀的粲粲还真想问一句,需不需要打得过小三,斗得过流氓呢?
    粲粲提着菜刀,一副杀猪的姿势朝着厨房走去。
    厨房的厨师被粲粲的阵势给吓到,里面都退避三舍的躲在了一旁。
    粲粲真想告诉这群厨师无视她的存在,可是却被徐敏那吃人的目光给生生的憋了回去。
    她可不可以申请回炉重造。因为她觉得自己不仅不适合琴棋书画,更不是下厨房的料。
    徐敏将所有的厨师都带了出去,剩下了粲粲一人傻乎乎的呆在厨房。
    她看着眼前那条活蹦乱跳的鱼,当机立断拨通了莫西的电话,“如果我要杀死一条鱼,我应该先怎么做?”
    “你为什么要杀死一条鱼?”莫西正坐在沙发上,无聊的转换着电视频道,就接到了这么一个莫名其妙的电话。她真庆幸粲粲没有问她,要杀死一个人应该怎么做。
    粲粲把事情的经过解释给了莫西。莫西才崩溃的开口,“我倒是知道要杀死一个人应该先怎么做!亲爱的,我长这么大,面条都没下过,你问我怎么做清蒸鲈鱼,你确定不是在逗我!”
    “我也觉得老天爷是在逗我!我特么要不是从小尊老爱幼,害怕天打雷劈,我现在就提着刀把乔慕辰他妈给灭了去!”粲粲无语问苍天的蹲在水池面前看着活蹦乱跳的鲈鱼。
    莫西赶紧从沙发上翻了下去,然后一边朝着自家厨房跑去一边对着粲粲道,“我现在就找个大厨教你,你等等啊!”
    不出片刻,粲
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