番外一 叔叔和阿姨打架了……

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得懂吗?’我去!我是文凭低,又不是不认识字!所以呢,我就把他拉黑了!”
    “哈哈!”
    台下又是一片人在哄笑。
    “咱们说回高宇哈。大家都知道,提起高宇,就不得不提起另外一个人,那就是咱们华夏著名的导演陆非凡。很多粉丝都知道,当年在京影上学的时候,高宇和陆导那是一个寝室的哥们儿。据说啊,在陆导拍了《诛仙》之后,曾经答应高宇,下一部电影会找他做男主角。大家也看到了,答应这件事之后,陆导至今再也没拍过电影了!”
    “吁……”
    观众席上一片吁声,倒是嘉宾席上的高宇嘿嘿直乐,堪称心大。
    “我知道,大家的吁声不是送给我的,也不是送给高宇的,而是送给此刻或许正在收看节目的陆导。陆导,你听到了吗?”小伙夸张的把手放在嘴边,比划着一个扩音的手势,看陆非凡一脸黑线。
    这破节目!
    “好了,这一期的提大咖名额,大家也看到了,既没给范兵兵,也没给周董,而是给了陆导!陆导,不用客气!”
    “爸爸爸爸,这个哥哥好搞笑!”小男孩伸出肉肉的小手,指着屏幕上的小伙乐道。
    “一点都不好笑!你这熊孩子,品味咋总和你爹不一样呢?”陆非凡黑着脸说道。
    “略略略~”小男孩伸出舌头鄙视了他一下,低声嘟囔着,“是爸爸你的品味总和我们不一样吧?上次我和妈妈一起看动画片,你也说不好看,可是妈妈和我都觉得好看!”
    这个时候,一片掌声当中,小眼睛小伙回到了嘉宾席,又换上来另外一个眼睛更小的小伙上来。
    这货更狠,在调侃倒高宇的时候,居然敢拿他和韩小雨当年的绯闻说事。陆非凡看得一脸古怪。蛋总是真不怕挨骂啊。
    《吐槽大会》的第一期,其实是王小聪筹备的。不过因为尺度开的太大,上线了不到半个小时就被总局一纸封杀令给叫停了。记得当初第一期的时候,踩线最严重的,也是眼睛最小的这一波人。
    陆非凡不知道后来经历了怎样的调整才最终又能上线的。按说这种进了总局黑名单的节目,想再露头是很难的。可《吐槽大会》居然连名字都没改,只是换了一波嘉宾和文案,就这么堂而皇之的重出江湖了,堪称诡异。
    “对此,我们也采访了当事人韩小雨,请看大屏幕!”
    平板里传来蛋总的声音。
    “咦?”陆非凡惊讶的低头看去。难道韩小雨居然接受采访了?
    结果,屏幕还是那个屏幕,没有任何变化。
    “emmm,大家看到了,韩小雨不愿意接受采访!”
    “哈哈!”
    观众席上一片笑声,不过也有几个韩小雨的粉丝的抗议声夹杂其中。
    “爸爸爸爸,高宇叔叔和小雨阿姨是不是关系不好啊?”小男孩的声音把陆非凡的思绪拉了回来。
    “为什么这么问?”陆非凡惊讶的看向自己的儿子。按说两人之间再怎么有过不去的地方,也不至于当着孩子的面表现出来吧。
    “就是有一次,我看到他们两个打架了。”小男孩学着某大人的表情,叹息着摇了摇头,一脸“这届大人可真不省心”的样子。
    “打架?”
    陆非凡一脸懵逼,好奇心瞬间就被勾了起来。
    “怎么回事,给爸爸讲讲!”
    “就是,就是上次你和妈妈带我去温泉玩,我去房间帮妈妈拿防晒油的时候,看见小雨阿姨进了高宇叔叔的房间,然后他们就打起来了。”
    小男孩的声音里带着叹息,陆非凡却是听得一脸古怪。韩小雨会主动进高宇的房间?你坑爹呢吧?
    “那你进去拉架了?”陆非凡一脸无语的看着自家儿子,寻思着怪不得前一阵高宇看这小家伙的表情总那么诡异。
    “我没敢进去……”小男孩一脸惭愧的说道,“我听见小雨阿姨的惨叫了,她一定是挨打了!我怕高宇叔叔打我,就去叫妈妈,可妈妈却让我别管。她不是和小雨阿姨关系最好了吗?怎么也看着小雨阿姨挨打啊?“
    “这个……”
    陆非凡有些牙疼,要怎么解释才能让这熊孩子明白,他的小雨阿姨也许喜欢被高宇叔叔“打”呢?
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