第13章 翻译机造神运动

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    拿枪的黑兄弟一击未中,一脸凶神恶煞的示意王涛站起来,叽里咕噜的说了一堆,听着像是方言版的英语。
    绅士那正经伦敦音王涛都听不懂,更何况这方言版?
    王涛没好气的双手举高,缓缓站了起来。
    绞尽脑汁的想了个英文词儿,“Ihavea穿死累伸,磨婶儿!”
    黑兄弟握着枪,走近了两步,叽里咕噜的又一堆,说的又急又快。
    从听见枪声起,妞妞就不再狂吠,反而慢慢的往后退。
    动物害怕枪声很正常,王涛觉得这虎了吧唧的狗终于知道怕了,反而生出一丝宽慰。
    这会如果妞妞冲上去,也就是一枪的事儿,没有任何悬念。
    妞妞退到他身边,看了他一眼,继续低着头往后退。
    “穿死累伸,磨婶儿!English!
    “哎呀,你社滴(说的)得是英语么?诶,你屋英语得是也是体育老师教哈滴?
    “穿死累伸!!!额贼,你社滴沃(说的那)是个啥嘛!还不如额沃两句!
    “额看你也是个瓜皮!全世界都学中文,你不学,你娃连个穿死累伸都听不懂,干球!”
    王涛手举的好好的,甚至挤出一抹微笑,一脸认怂的样,嘴里叨咕的那些可一点不怂。
    “Translation?”
    黑娃听懂了!
    “诶呀!!对对对!Ihaveatranslation磨婶儿!”
    王涛乍起胳膊指尖向下,轻轻指着自己脖子上挂的音箱,慢慢的摁了翻译键。
    “各位亲爱的顾客,您好!欢迎光临雨林面馆!”
    王涛挂上职业假笑,压低嗓音,按新闻联播的调儿来了句迎宾语。
    巨大的叽里呱啦从翻译机里传出,对面黑娃听完直接愣了两秒。
    “对不且,对不且,音量调小一点,哎呀。”
    王涛这会自然的放下双手,调整完翻译机自然而然的搓着双手赔笑。
    “面馆?你一个?”黑娃谨慎的探问道。
    王涛心中电光一闪,笑道:“做饭的只有我,顾客还是挺多的,都是回头客。”
    “什么!还有谁来过?想必老板招待的也很周到吧?”
    “哎,我们中国有句古话:和气生财!这位帅哥此话不敢当啊!垒起七星灶,铜壶煮三江。摆开八仙桌,招待十六方。来的都是客,全凭嘴一张。相逢开口笑,过后不思量。人一走,面就凉,有啥周详不周详!”
    王涛洋洋洒洒唱完,翻译机一声爆鸣,然后开始叽里咕噜……
    十分钟后……
    五个黑娃一脸呆愣的听完了,彼此看了看,竟然放下了枪。
    “妈妈说了,杀祭祀会下地狱。”
    ???啥祭祀?
    “祭祀?”王涛不由自主的念叨了一句。
    “恩,对,您刚说炉灶里有七颗星星,水壶可以煮三条江水,桌子更是有八个厉害的神仙,其中一个还和白牡丹……”
    “打住吧!嗐!”
    可算知道为啥几句词儿翻译了那么久,怎么就不从盘古开天开始讲呢!
    黑娃从善如流的闭了嘴,呐呐的说了句:“刚刚那一枪,还望祭祀不要生气!”
    王涛眼珠子一转,轻咳一声,装腔作势的摆出一脸圣洁的样子,朗声说道:“那就留下来吃碗面吧!我的孩子!来自于神的国度的美食,可以洗涤你的灵魂。嗯,圣面!”
    “好的,祭祀大人!”黑娃双目含泪。
    祭祀大人转身穿着皱巴巴的行政夹克走向餐车,沉声说道:“500美金一碗,我的孩子!不要忘了,这是你们的救赎!”
    起锅烧水~
    又有生意上门咯~~~
    妞妞跑不见了,王涛这会有点担心,但是马上又开解自己。
    “妞妞是个聪明狗子,一会事儿完了再去找吧。这会实在走不开!”
    五碗面下锅,却看那边五个黑娃突然就打了起来。
    “诶!停!弄撒呢?离手!”
    王涛拎着勺子就过去了,眼看劝不开,直接抡勺子挨个在黑娃头上敲了几下。
    “离手!!听话!”
    五个人高马大的黑娃表情不一,有愤怒,有委屈。
    “啥事?来,你来说!”指着刚拿枪的黑娃,握着勺子双手抱胸,气势像极了训导主任。
    黑娃眉框打的出了血,一脸的愤怒。
    “我们的金子丢了一块!”
    “啥意思?没钱买单?NONONO!不能哦,我面已经下锅了!你几个凑一下!”
    王涛头和食指一直摇,态度表达的很坚决。
    “祭祀大人,我不是这个意思。我们几个没有钱,只有一些黄金,我刚刚就是打算拿黄金跟您换圣面。
    “结果少了一个金豆子!我怀疑有人偷了它!”
    另一个黑娃嘴角破了,脸肿的
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