第二十八章 可乐鸡翅(下)
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主脚:可乐鸡翅
龙套:低头卒、珊瑚糖、可乐爸爸、猪脚大王、酸梅汤
是非
窗外的花朵儿渐渐绽放,树梢上的麻雀正叽叽喳喳,蹦蹦跳跳。突然,教室里爆发出一阵排山倒海的掌声,吓得麻雀一下子就撞在了树桩上。
在吃瓜群众的欢呼声中,可乐鸡翅接过低头卒(龙套)为她颁发的进步奖励。她开心地抱着一堆零食又亲又吻,狠狠地吸了一波仙气,那份难以描述的快乐早已浸透了她的心。她不禁感叹道:“哎,书中讲的果然没错,一分耕耘,一分收获啊!”
午间休息,可乐鸡翅美食在手,正准备好好品味的时候,突然瞅见了独自蹲在墙角,头上被一团乌云包裹着的珊瑚糖(龙套)。
可乐鸡翅满脸疑惑:“今天出门特意看了老黄历,不是写着万事如意,福从天降吗?大家都欢声笑语的,唯独珊瑚糖像个泄了气的皮球,咋了?是被人刺痛了?”
可乐鸡翅踮着脚尖,悄悄地走到珊瑚糖的身边,单脚跪地。“珊瑚糖,你怎么了?有什么不开心的事情,尽管说出来,让我们也开心一下!呵呵呵~”
珊瑚糖翻了个白眼,没好气地说道:“我现在没心情和你开玩笑,没看我正发愁呢!”她掩面叹息,“哎,这次检查做漏了题,还不知道怎么面对“妈咪+爸比”的十八级“龙卷风”呢?”
可乐鸡翅怜悯地看向珊瑚糖,然后给了珊瑚糖一个拥抱,柔声安慰道:“哎呀,你别太伤心了,我们都是同病相怜,天涯沦落人!俗话说‘良药苦口利于病,忠言逆耳利于行’。虽然要被父母痛批一顿,但话语中也承载着他们对你满满的爱呀!你说对不对?”
珊瑚糖“嗯”了一声,任由可乐鸡翅抱着。
可乐鸡翅轻轻拍了拍珊瑚糖的肩膀,略显轻松地调侃道:“你个小菜鸟,都在这蹲了大半天,咋的,开始读‘教室里蹲’大学了?来,就让神一般的我来搭救你这只迷途小羔羊吧!”说完,她放开了珊瑚糖,站了起来,然后伸出了“正义右手”,准备拉珊瑚糖起来。
珊瑚糖保持着半蹲的姿势,鸟都没有鸟一眼可乐鸡翅,一脸黑线地大声喊道:“你才是小羔羊!你全家都是羔羊!”
可乐鸡翅皱了皱眉头:“呦呵,脾气还挺大嘛。我诚心诚意的跑来安慰你,你不领情就算了,居然还要吼我?咋滴,合着我就是个大怨种啊!”她迅速抽回自己“正义右手”,下意识地来了个战术后退:“检查前几天你玩得那么嗨,自己又做漏了题,怪我了?居然还好意思朝我发脾气,我看你就该多吃点‘活该糖’!‘自作孽不可活’,你懂不懂吗?小羔羊!”说完,还对着珊瑚糖做了一个“羊角”的姿势。
话音刚落,珊瑚糖抡起一根扫帚,猛地站起身来,朝着可乐鸡翅就冲了过去。那架势,太凶猛了!战斗力直接爆棚!
可乐鸡翅腿都吓软了,整个人瘫倒在地上,无助的呐喊着:“为什么电视剧里当好人,鲜花满天飞。而我当一次好人,扫把满脸砸呢?我到底是造的什么孽啊?”
面对步步紧逼地珊瑚糖,可乐鸡翅只能选择后退。当她退到墙角边时,已经退无可退了。慌忙之中,她摸到了一支笔。这一下,她就像抓住了一根救命稻草,拿着这支沾满灰尘的笔,颤抖地指着珊瑚糖,吞吞吐吐道:“唉……你别……过来,我也是有…武器的人!小心…你被误伤!”
珊瑚糖看见可乐鸡翅手中拿着的那支笔,再看看自己手中的扫帚,她“噗呲”笑出了声,随即抡起扫把就准备把可乐鸡翅来个“彻底铲除”,“铲”完了再“除”。
就在这十万火急的一瞬间,迫不得已的可乐鸡翅只好拿出了杀手锏。她喊了声“stop”!然后快速地跑回座位,一阵捣鼓后抱着满满当当的“家当”(零食)跑了回来。她双手将“家当”举过了头顶,卑微地讨好道:“珊瑚糖,君子动口不动手,大人不记小人过,看在这么多零食的份上,你就饶了我这一次吧!你不是小羊羔,我才是!我是一只小羊羔,“咩咩咩咩”!”
“算你聪明!本大人这次就放过你了!”拿着零食的珊瑚糖,只花了0.1秒就消失不见。
周围的吃瓜群众表示:额,珊瑚糖不去参加世界短跑冠军,真是可惜了!
危急警报终于解除,可乐鸡翅用衣袖擦了擦满头冷汗,长吁了一口气:“哎呀,这次真的被坑惨了,零食全没了。我以后再也当什么好人了!闲事莫管,莫管闲事!”
吃瓜群众表示:人有热心肠,招揽是非多。
学“梗”
秋风扫落叶,严寒飞雪花。时间的脚步总是匆匆,一眨眼,寒假又来了!这一天,家里蹲的可乐鸡翅,被一种难懂又神秘的梗给缠上了。
“大家说我是‘社交小龙虾’,这是什么梗呢?难道是在夸我天生丽质吗?”可乐鸡翅趴在阳台上,冥思苦想了半天,也没有想出个所以
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