第190章:拜托
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道基就晚了!”
“噢?原来是寻找功法。不过以你目前低得可怜的修为境界,别说去拜见地藏王菩萨,就是去了罗刹鬼那儿也没‘鬼’理你,到时候指不定还白跑一趟,嘿嘿。”
“什么?这……既然如此,晚辈该如何是好?还请钟天师看在晚辈与前辈同属修真者的份上,给晚辈指条明路。晚辈感激不尽!”邹君话音一落,赶紧一躬到底。
“哈哈,小子呀,此事说难不难,说易不易,全凭你自己决定。”红脸虬髯的天师钟馗话音一落,便再也不说话了,而是似笑非笑地转过脸去瞅了瞅自己的妹妹。
“大——哥——这……你叫小妹如何开口呢?哼,真坏,坏哥哥,坏透了!不理你了,咯咯。”话音一落,原本满脸苍白的钟藜竟然一脸异样潮红地碎步跑开了。
“敢问钟天师,这……钟藜前辈这是怎么了?”邹君见状,感觉莫名其妙。————“嘿嘿,还能怎样?还不是少女怀春?你小子莫非连这都看不出来?嘿嘿。”
“少女怀春?可是……可是晚辈从钟藜前辈身上感应不到丝毫活人的气息呀?”邹君话音一落,忽然发现对面钟馗的眼神瞬间变得不善起来,赶紧又改口道:“当然也没有感觉到死鬼的气息,呵呵。”————“哼,小子?莫非你想说我家小妹不是人?只不过是像这些‘侍女箴图’上的‘画中仙’一样中看不中用?哼哼。”
“不不不,晚辈绝无此意!还请钟天师千万不要误会。”邹君汗颜道。————“哼,小子,别装了。本君知道你一直好奇我家小妹,那本君告诉你又何妨?”
在邹君惊讶的眼神中,钟馗开始从头说起。原来钟馗自幼父母双亡,只留下年幼的小妹与自己相依为命。兄妹俩长大成人后,才华横溢且武功高绝的大哥赴京赶考中了状元就是未来的“驸马爷”了,这原本应该是喜庆之事,但因钟馗相貌奇丑而被皇帝嫌弃,只得愤怒抗争,最后无力回天便当庭撞死在大殿龙柱上,让皇帝难堪。
皇帝为了挽回天下士子之心,下令以状元礼遇厚葬钟馗。与此同时,钟馗魂魄进入地府后,由于放心不下自己年幼的妹妹,于是在“有心人”的帮助下得以前往“鬼蜮修真界”做了一名“鬼族人修”,后来修为渐长并得到了冥河灌体的机会渡过“冥界”一举修成“鬼仙”,法力高强,并从此受天庭委派并担任起了冥府判官。
数年间,钟馗在一边履行公务一边想着如何安置自己的妹妹。首先从当年曾经借钱给自己赴京赶考的好友杜平说起,反正对方至今未娶,正好将自己的妹妹嫁给他以报相助之恩。于是待到除夕夜,钟馗便命令自己手下小鬼们一起敲锣打鼓将自己的妹妹打扮得花枝招展地送到了杜平家完婚。然而,好景不长,杜平却一命呜呼了。
就这样,钟馗又得想办法给自己的妹妹找婆家,接下来的几年里钟馗的妹妹前前后后嫁了18次,每次婚后没多久就死了男人,于是被传出“白虎星,克夫命”。直到最后有一个沦落到给富妇当面“面首”的男妓愿意接纳钟馗的妹妹。然而,婚后没多久,那名生龙活虎的男妓眼瞅就又快要不行了,无奈之下钟馗只好以权谋私。
钟馗与妹妹合谋,利用自己“判官”的便利身份,盗取了“生死簿”并私自给那男妓加了三年阳寿,已让妹妹能与对方尽享夫妻之乐。为此,钟馗还与阴司同僚们起了冲突。不过,后来在男妓死后,钟藜也不想活了。无奈之下,钟馗只好向背后的“大能”求助,施展一门“秘法”将自己妹妹的命运与自己命运强行绑定在一起。
于是,只要钟馗不死,钟藜就死不了,也不会变老。兄妹俩才一起搬到了阴曹地府居住,就是现在的情况了。邹君听到这里,心中满是震惊,感觉太不可思议了。
“怎么样?小子。本君就拜托你收下我家小妹吧?别让她孤苦伶仃再过一辈子了!”————“可是……实不相瞒,晚辈在阳间已经有了四位道侣,并且还生了一大堆孩子。”————“哼,小子,你玩我不成?那是阳间之事!就算你有一百个、一千个、一万个道侣又如何?但在阴间,你就得收了我家妹子,否则,嘿嘿。”
“否则……否则如何?”邹君惊恐道。————“否则,你不但得不到你想要的两门功法,而且魂魄也绝对还不了阳!”钟馗虎着一张脸道:“若是你收了我家小妹,本君亲自出马为你将那两本功法完整无缺拿到手,并且从此往后无论你想修炼何种厉害鬼道功法,只要在这幽冥鬼蜮中出现过,本君就一定能帮你找到,如何?”
“哈哈,若果真如此,那就太好了!晚辈就谢过钟天师,拜托前辈了!”————“嘿嘿,小子,要说拜托,还是本君要拜托你收了我家小妹,免得守活寡!”
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